standsonhigh | High school AU open post

Killing Tom, ultimately, had been easier than expected. He'd made it look like an accident and no one but Koschei ever found out that it had really been him. Koschei's reaction had been the final nail in the coffin of their relationship, never really started. Weird enough for someone who'd been wanting Tom for so long, he suddenly realized that he didn't want to be with someone this unhinged. This unpredictable. It scared him and he had never taken well to being scared.

Breaking up with him still hadn't been easy, because despite everything, he wanted to be with him. He wanted all the sappy stuff and everything else and the thought of Koschei with anyone else made him sick. It really didn't help that Koschei, after the initial anger, started ignoring him completely. Made the thought that perhaps it had always just been a way to get to Tom. Which had worked like a charm.

Now there was nothing. He might as well not exist. Life sucked.

Koschei had thought Tom dying would of changed everything, that with him out of the way he could be king of this sad little school. Well, you know, he was very sadly mistaken. No matter how much he tried, there was still an army of boys that hated him and others naturally drifted into Tom's old role to fill in, none really willing to listen to the runty kid Tom had hated. Fortunately, Koschei found that without Tom, they concentrated their hate on other people and he slipped under the cracks more.

It was shocking how much spare time he had now without being beaten, tormented and jumped.

And, sadly, that spare time couldn't be used for what he wanted. It couldn't be used to spend time with Barty or be with him like he'd wanted to. Bastard had just tossed him aside after stealing Koschei moment of glory. And now look at him, alone and miserable, stuck spending his nights with Theta and his girlfriend and his days in the library.

Every time he walked through the hall and saw Barty, he'd try to get passed him without a work, dead cold silence as his response. Like today, when he slipped passed the boy, defiantly pretending he wasn't there.

"Koschei, wait!" Barty blinked, because he hadn't known that he'd burst out like that. Huh. Go figure. He turned and hoped that his brain would think of something to say and do and fast, because otherwise this could be seriously embarrassing. It already was a little, because now at least five seconds had passed and he was just staring at him.

He grabbed Koschei's arm before he could leave him standing and tried to sort out his head. Not so easy, when all he wanted was to turn things back and make them right. "I'm sorry."

Kosche did wait, turning his head and looking at Barty with a confused expression. One day he's being told it's over, the next he's being told to stop. Well, it was worth hearing him out. There could be some sort of reasoning behind it, maybe he hadn't shoved the dagger in deep enough, maybe he had some other great words to share. Perhaps he was leaving Koschei behind in this hell-hole or something.

Either way, the one thing he didn't expect was an apology. And yet he got it. It was such an odd thing to take, he didn't know what to say. He just looked at him for a moment, torn between storming away and keeping his pride or happily and slightly desperately embracing him. "You're sorry?"

"Er." Well, he'd just said that, hadn't he? What part was Koschei not getting?

Wait a minute, it was Koschei. He probably never even got why he broke up with him in the first place. "Yes. I'm sorry." What exactly was he sorry for, anyway? If he didn't even know, he couldn't blame someone like Koschei for not getting it. "I shouldn't... I mean." He really had no idea how to word this right. He felt a lot, but mostly he just felt lonely. Missed what could have been. Still wasn't sure there should ever be anything.

"I didn't want to hurt you. I'm sorry."

"You didn't hurt me," It was said very fast, like a knee jerk reaction. It just happened to come out, he never could help it. Showing weakness was not something he wanted and years of having his head in a toilet made him hyper aware of it and determined to avoid it. He didn't want Barty thinking he had enough power to hurt him. Even if he had, even if it had broken Koschei heart to lose him.

Tom dying and them being happy was a sort of fairytale ending he'd pictured. Not having it hurt more than he could stand to admit.

Unsure if it was wise to even give into this apology, Koschei eyed him with suspicion, purposefully putting a distance between them. "But even if you had hurt me, which you didn't, why should I forgive you? I mean, you shouldn't of left me in the first place. We had an agreement, we could of been happy, you went ahead and ruined it! I still don't get why, you just ended it!"

Okay, that had drastically morphed from an aloof dismissal to an oddly desperate accusation but Koschei had always been so up and down in his moods, flipping around easily.

"You don't have to forgive me," Barty muttered, shaking his head and looking around to make sure no one was watching them. Life, at the very least, had been under a lot less observation since Tom was gone. He stepped forward, still holding Koschei's arm, right in front of him now as he met his eyes. "You should have seen the way you looked at me when I told you. About Tom. I thought you wanted to kill me. And when you talked about killing him, it was..."

He bit down on his lower lip and tried to think of the right words. "It seemed as if you'd never stop. Wanting him dead. Wanting others dead. I spent years being terrified of Tom even though he was my friend, whatever to call it. I don't want to be scared of you."

"I scared you?" It was said with confusion, he clearly didn't grasp this at all. He didn't get that he could scare Barty off, especially since he'd been friends with Tom for so long. He was definitely worse, he just assumed Barty liked that or something. Swallowing hard, he was forced to face the reality that perhaps he'd fallen off into the deep end a little before. He couldn't help it, Tom had driven him mad. Being endlessly beaten, having his life threatened and his pride destroyed had broken something inside him. He really didn't know if he could fix it.

All he did know was that he really wanted to be with Barty. Taking an uneven breath, he decided words wouldn't ever really help him. Fortunately the corridor was mostly empty or he wouldn't of done what he did next. Rather than apologise himself and risk his own pride, he pulled Barty into a kiss.

A pretty clear signal of how bad he felt.

"Not really you... Just... What you might be turning into. I didn't want to stick around for it." He wanted to preserve that idea of an innocent, perfect life he had had. That beautiful delusion they had come up with. But he'd decided that he wanted to stick around after all. To help, maybe. To fix all the damage Tom had done.

He wasn't even surprised when Koschei kissed him and he kissed back. Never mind if anyone was watching, who even cared? The school year was almost over and he wanted to be with Koschei. He wanted to be his.

"I can't help who I am. But I'll try better in future, I will. I could be?" He couldn't but Koschei was very good at offering hollow promises and flawed ideas. That was who he was sometimes, the man who could promise perfection but never quite deliver it.

As he pulled back from the kiss, he laughed and playfully pulled Barty into a hug. How the hell did he ever lose him? He never should of let him leave. He should of just -- well, who knows, forced him to stay. Days after being stuck with Theta and his date had so driven him to the point where he literally just wanted some sane company that weren't making out. "I can't believe you dumped you, you absolute bastard. Don't ever do that again."

"I believe you," Barty said, partly because he just wanted to say whatever Koschei wanted to hear because he really loved how happy he suddenly was. He shouldn't have broken up with him in the first place. But on the other hand, maybe it had gotten through to him. Shook him back into being a bit more normal. Who knew?

"I won't. Promise." He kissed him again because he could and there still weren't really any people around. "My new roommate snores. It's terrible." He smirked. "Still better than the last, though.

High school AU open post

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