standsonhigh | High school AU open post

"I'm..." What did he say? What could he say? The truth, he decided, even though he knew Koschei wouldn't, couldn't get it. "I'm in a hotel. I'm not breaking up with you or anything, Koschei, I just need a break. I really need a break."

That would go over well, he had a feeling.

"A break?" Oh no. Oh god no, he didn't know how this happened but he felt sick, actually really sick. His heart nearly stopped and he gripped the phone tighter than he should of. Barty couldn't just leave him here, he couldn't leave him with the drums all alone. In his panic, the noise got worse, and he gripped his head to try and calm them so he could hear Barty. "You can't do that! You can't leave me, you rat bastard. You little sneak!"

Growling into the phone, he would of thrown it in anger if he hadn't of needed it so desperately. But the anger soon got lost in the moment and a strange sort of sadness hit him. "-- Please, don't do this Barty. You can't just go... there's no food in the house and I can't go out. They're all out there, they make it worse. Only you make them better, you know? The drums. They like you."

"They do? Funny, that's not what they said last night." He smiled at his own miserable joke and stared up at the ceiling. This was hard. This was a lot more difficult than he'd expected. "I'm sorry, Koschei. But it's fine. It won't be for long. And there is food, there's enough food for a while. You can check, fridge, freezer, all of it."

He rubbed his eyes and leaned his forehead against his knees, his heart beating up to his throat. He felt guilty, he felt scared and he missed Koschei. Damn, he'd been missing him for a long time now. "I'll be back soon, alright? I promise."

"So you're not coming back then? You're just leaving me here?" Koschei dropped onto the bed, lying on his back and closing his eyes. He didn't want to be alone here, he really didn't. But he hadn't left the house in nearly a month now and he didn't want to try either. Barty should never of left him. Now he was going to have to find him and the idea of leaving his flat made him feel sick.

"You won't be back soon, you're lying. That's what you do, you lie," Koschei insisted, eyes on the doorway, desperately wanting to go and get him. Even if he didn't know where he was. "Where are you? Who are you with? -- Theta? Run off to him again, did you? Pathetic worm."

"No, that's not what I do. I love you, that's what I do." Easy concepts to mix up, he supposed. "I'm not with Theta, no. I'm alone. I'm completely alone." He closed his eyes and breathed as evenly as he could force himself to, wishing desperately that there would be some way for him not to be alone.

"Maybe you should give Theta a call, Koschei. The drums do like him. Better than the like me. They always have." Right now it was just stating facts. He didn't really have the energy for envy or jealousy left in him. Theta could make Koschei feel better and more like himself, could fix him. Meanwhile, he was more of a glorified punching bag. "I'll be back in three days. How's that? You can deal with that, right?"

"If you loved me, you wouldn't leave me," Koschei whispered finally, not sure how he was going to cope alone. He didn't want Theta, he didn't want to be alone. He wanted Barty back. Swallowing hard, he hung up without any further words and lay on the bed, waiting. Three days. He had to wait three days.

Fine, he would. He'd wait. He waited ever so patiently then he'd make sure Barty never left him. Not again. He'd make him unable to ever leave him again.

Koschei remained on the bed, not sleeping or eating, for the whole of the day. He was too lost in his own determination to put this right.

I love you.

♥

Remember when you texted me at work? Are you taking care of yourself?

Two days left.

I don't have a job, they got rid of me. Remember?

I know.

Yes, I know. I just meant back when we were studying and you tried to distract me from work.

Never mind.

There was a long delay as Koschei thought back, remember the old times and how much easier they were. Then finally he text back like he used to. When he really wanted his attention and he was too busy being adult.

Barty Barty Barty.

Can't have a party without Barty. It becomes too arty :D come play, I'm lonely.

Thank you. ♥

I love you. I miss you. I'm lonely too.

Hey. Can I ask something?

You can't miss me any more than I miss you.

Go for it, ask away.

I don't know. You've been gone a lot longer.

When I come back, what are you going to do?

You're going to hurt me, right?

I think I will. Hurt you, I mean. I definitely will.

It took him a few moments before sending a second text, against his better judgement.

You shouldn't come back.

I promised I would. I will.

I wish you wouldn't hurt me. I'm sorry you have to.

You're a fool, Barty. You should of left.

Maybe I should leave. I want to leave, I don't want to be here any more. Everything is hurting in my head.

Maybe. You're the love of my life though, so.

We can move somewhere else. Together. If you'd like.

Moving won't help. You can't fix a problem by changing the setting.

I know you cry at night. I've watched you. I'm going to destroy you one day. I probably have in some ways.

I don't cry. I'm a tough macho man.

You've never been macho, you dummy.

Do you really love me still?

Could be if I wanted. Just so you know.

I'll always love you. You're perfect for me.

you couldn't wuss.

i love you don't leave me i didn't mean it

i'll make it better

I'm not waiting for things to get better anymore. It's alright.

I told you, I just needed a break. Do some things that remind me of us. I'll be back.

I'll wait. I'll always wait.

You're still adorable.

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